I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
