If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need water and some morals
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
