This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
