You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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