I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
