I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
