Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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