he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm at about main and main street
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize