party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
