Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
