We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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