I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
