i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
