she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
