i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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