her vagina looked like bernie madoff
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
