Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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