have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize