What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize