Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My pussy is not your playground.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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