you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
lets start a swedish sibling band together
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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