ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize