dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize