he told me I talked like a deaf person
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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