i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
