Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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