I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
