I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
