i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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