hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You don't make any sense
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