Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
