Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
