I faked an abortion last night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
