I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
