i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
