Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize