Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
