I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
