i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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