I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
