I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
