You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
