peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
