I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
