We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
