just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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