he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
