Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
