I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize