Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How's work?
Spinning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize