Michael Bay diarrhea
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
