I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
