dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
