Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
