Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
