I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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