Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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