You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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