How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
