dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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