Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
