kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
