You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize