I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
