your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
