Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
