never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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