dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize