Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize