I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
