I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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