so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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