just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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